Tools for Your Doula Toolbox: How to Soothe a Crying Baby

First things first, we always like to remind folks that when a baby cries, they are communicating. This is the tool they have to tell the adults in their life that they have needs. This framing can help you and the parent(s) take a deep breath and approach the baby with openness and curiosity. Additionally, babies don’t always know that they are separate beings from their parents/caregivers. Thus, calm, steady energy is key for calming baby and working through a tough moment.

During a postpartum shift, one of your essential roles may be tending to baby, and, babies are going to cry, a.k.a. communicate. We addressed newborn care previously, but this article is meant to help you establish some go-to techniques for soothing a crying baby. Additionally, you will likely be in an educational role, helping parents learn and understand the ways they can care for baby around the clock, using these same tools.

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Start with the Basics

• Does their diaper need to be changed?

• Do they need a feed/bottle?

• Are they wanting soothing/physical touch? (This includes baby wearing, swaddles, and skin-to skin for the parent[s].)

• Do they need to burp?

• Are they tired?

Level Up Your Tools

If you’ve changed their diaper, offered food, burped them, swaddled and/or snuggled them, and they’re still crying, you may move on to the next set of tools, which may be intermixes or using simultaneously:

• Movement: Hold baby and bounce as you walk or sit on a “birth ball” or consider a football hold with a jiggling motion. Try to match the intensity of the crying with the rate of your movement, just make sure the head is supported.

• Noise: Ideas include white noise, turn on the vacuum cleaner or an air purifier, make a shushing noise close to the baby's ear (or using a shusher), a sound machine, or listen to (reasonably) loud music. You may even sing or hum, which some babies love! Like movement, try to match the intercity of the crying with the volume of the noise.

• The 5 S’s: The 5 S’s, as branded by Harvey Karp, is another shortlist of ideas to try, which includes movement and noise. The 5 S’s are: Swaddle, Swing (or bounce), Side-lying (only for soothing, not for sleep), Sucking, and Shushing.

• Gastrointestinal (GI)-considerations: If baby is still crying, consider that they may be gassy. All babies get gassy from time to time, and some more than others. Ideas for soothing gas include: lay baby across your knees on their tummy, rub their back, and softly bounce your legs, use baby gas drops (simethicone), probiotics, and/or herbal remedies*, bicycle baby’s legs while they lie on their back, and the colic hold (see the featured image for an example).

*You will obviously only administer gas drops, probiotics, homeopathic or herbs (like Colic Calm or Mylicon ) with parental consent, and after they’ve talked to their care provider. You may, however, make a suggestion to ask their provider about these options if they have not already done so. FYI: gas drops can break up the surface tension of the gas bubbles, so that babies pass gas easier. Probiotics can help with the breakdown and absorption of nutrients in the GI system, which may decrease gas. Herbs can offer gentle relief of symptoms, including acid reflux.

Longer-Term Challenges

If baby is experiencing colic and/or reflux and having longer-term challenges with being soothed, there may be other suggestions or referrals you can offer a family:

• IBCLC support: Whether the baby is breast or formula fed, lactation consultants can discuss feeding goals, challenges, and baby’s symptoms. Have some trusted names and referrals you can pass along to families!

• Formula options: If a family is using formula to feed their baby, they may discuss options for different formulas with an IBCLC and/or pediatrician. As a doula, you may also have some ideas of specific formulas or data that you can share with them to then discuss with their providers. A doula’s job is never to tell a family what to do, but rather to provide them with tools and information for making their own choices.

• Chiropractic care for baby: This can be a helpful additional modality for parents to explore. It’s imperative to find someone who specializes in newborn/infant care. Again, it’s great to know who to refer to in your local community.

Don’t Take it Personally

It’s easier said than done, but if a baby continues to cry, do your best to know that it’s not about you. The same goes for the ways you reassure parents. If they have a “fussy” or highly-communicative baby, it does not mean they are doing anything wrong. Some babies are just less comfortable or easier to cry. Focus on staying calm and self-soothing in order to help baby’s nervous system catch on. Open windows, go outside, listen to music you enjoy, eat a snack etc. Whatever it takes to help stay as present as possible.

Join Us in Class

We’d be honored to see you in postpartum doula training soon, whether it’s in Austin (March), Asheville (May), somewhere else, or online! We get into the nitty-gritty of newborn smoothing and so much more. See you in class soon!

*Photo credit: Canva

Thanks for reading ABG Postpartum Doula Blog! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.